Monday, August 24, 2009

Match.com hates me.

The ads for Match.com say that if you don't meet someone special in 6 months, you get 6 months free. I think that sounds like you will be punished for not selecting someone from one of the amazing options they keep sending you. Here is a small sampling of my matches this week.

What's with the helmet? What are you hiding? Is there a severe facial deformity, or do you just like to seem mysterious? Maybe you are challenging me to look beyond the physical to the person you are underneath a motorcycle jacket and helmet.

I don't know when this picture was taken, but that kid is probably 18 by now. I'm sure you don't need to protect him/her against internet predators anymore. And I have a rule against dating guys who show off more cleavage than I do.


I'm guessing you're going for the 'bad boy' look. That's a lot of head accessories. Oh yeah, and the cigarette hanging out of your mouth is very attractive. I specifically asked for non-smokers, so I'm not sure how you were selected as a match for me. Also...what is with you LDS guys that describe yourself as a social drinker or a smoker? I'm pretty sure the Word of Wisdom is applicable on days other than Sunday.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Heather, you crack me up...DA BEAR

brooke said...

Bachelor #2 from the 80s kills me. That is seriously his profile pic? And can you even imagine the kind of girls #3 is getting with his picture? It's a scary dating world out there.

Troy said...

i like #2... he has a kid so he's mature, judging from the decor he lives with his grandmother which means he's very loyal and loving, and his physique suggests that at one time he was buff and then he started working so hard and making so much money that man boobs occured..

melissa walker said...

I'm confused--they list themselves as LDS but describe their drinking/smoking as social? Are they non-LDS (and don't catch on that we don't drink, even socially) trying to attract LDS girls (and why)? Or are they LDS who've gone down a different path but still want to date LDS girls? But hey, I have a couple guys out here that we could set you up with--they're in the other ward in our building. They are LDS and do not socially drink, so at least you'd be a step up from match.com!

amelia said...

lots of laughing going on right now!
i love troy's comment!!!
hey, did matt ever call you?

The Mostess said...

Um--Sundays are always a "free" day. What kind of strict Mormon family were you raised in?

PS--the Heidi Ho dress would totally snag these men. But then you would be stuck with one of them. I would go for the 80's mullet dude, as he would entertain your entire circle of friends.

PSS..are you open to set-ups? I have a guy in mind. If my friend sucks, you can blog about him, and I will link to it. It could be a love match OR great fodder for us. Either way, win-win.